Spoiler Alert

So it's been over three years since my last post, and so much has happened. Seriously. I'm working on the book and the screen play.

I met someone. The day I returned to working in a restaurant, he was one of the first people that I met. He walked right up to me and introduced himself with a huge smile on his face. He was waaaaaaay too good looking. An insane body, incredible eyes with eyelashes that went on for days, and a beautiful smile that bursted from his being. His uniform was black slacks, a black apron, and a tight short sleeved black tank. I nicknamed him Biceps.

It was the Monday after Thanksgiving, and I was just returning from my trip to Palm Springs with friends to celebrate with their family. There were no prospects there, no hook ups, and I was still a mess from the alcoholic.

So this new guy (a personal trainer when he wasn't working one of his two restaurant jobs), asked me out for weeks. Just to grab a beer with him. I was like, there is no way I'm fucking the hottest guy here and fucking up the job that I so desperately needed. I was much older than 95% of my coworkers by about a decade, five years older than him, and we were working in the hippest restaurant in SF. Warriors ate there regularly; Mariah Carey came in with that guy she "wasn't dating" while she was engaged (looking like sausage stuffing in a dress 4 sizes too small with an engagement ring on her finger that was larger than anything I'd ever seen in person, and seemed to be xany'ed out of her curly haired gourd); Dennis Rodman came in, shouted my name across the loud restaurant, and refused to pay his bill at the end of the meal; backwoods pot growers would do deals with VCs worth millions; kids from China would fly in just to post photos of caviar on duck for their instagram and then not eat it; and once a man flew in for his 90th with 5 escorts from Vegas that would fondle him throughout the meal. It was by far the most wild restaurant I would ever work in.

I went out with the "kids" to one of the quieter bars not far from the restaurant, accepted a margarita from Biceps, and we went from friendly joking at work, to mildly flirting. I was still reeling over my ex. He'd continue to get drunk and text me love songs while I was at work. I'd emerge from BART to a street artist playing a cover of U2's One, and start sobbing uncontrollably. I was back on the apps, but just as a distraction. I felt certain that I would never find the depth of love that we shared, and I still believed we were soul mates, but would never work in our lifetime.

It was approaching the end of the year, and one afternoon I passed Biceps in the hallway beneath the restaurant. He looked sad, and vulnerable, lost in his own world. He heard me walking towards him and looked up. He immediately started smiling. I passed him, and said, "Fine. I'll give you my number."

We started texting. He explained to me that he was on Facebook, but had a different name. Are you fucking serious? Another one? But he had a story he wanted, and needed to tell me. He sent pictures of his former life. He'd been in America for just over two years under an asylum case. He'd worked in private security in his home country, and people had tried to kill him.

Hmmm. Sounds like a disaster. Sign me up!

New Years Eve I had to work, but got done before midnight and went home and got in bed. I've always been one that would rather have a great night sleep than be out partying and on the road with a bunch of drunk people. Biceps had the night off, and texted me that I should come out. He was at some rave concert party having a blast. I was like, nah, and sent him a pic (completely wholesome) of me snuggled in bed.

January 4th was our first date. We agreed to meet at a bar in a different part of the city so that we wouldn't run into coworkers. The date was more of an interrogation. He would ask me questions and then follow and track my eye movements. After a while I was like fuck it. I don't care if he likes me or my answers, I'm just going to be brutally honest. At one point it came up that I liked women as well as men, and he shouted, "You like to eat pussy?!" Holy shit. "It's not just about that, Love is love!" He seemed to get over it, and the night continued. We were interrupted by a man known as Bronco, that was drunk out of his mind that knew Biceps and kept trying to sell him coke (which I learned later). When Biceps got up to get me another margarita, I pleaded in Spanish to Bronco to leave us alone, it was our first date and we were getting to know each other. And then, this is a fun one, my direct supervisor was there! Good times.

We ended up leaving and Biceps walked me to my car, where he kissed me, and it was, well, amazing. I drove him the short distance home, and we made out in my car in the parking lot. I refused to go in with him, but after I had serious blue lady balls I invited him to Oakland with me. He ran up to his apartment and grabbed an overnight bag. I was out of my mind. What the hell was I doing?

We slept together and he had the body of Burt Reynolds in that Playboy spread. Seriously. It was like an exotic GI Joe meets every furry man I fantasized about as a young girl. He left in the morning, and I spent the entire day in a state of post coital fantasy fuck bliss/what the fuck did I just do/I'm a grown woman, I-can-do-what or-who-I-want loop.

Then later that day, he texted me that he missed me. And we've been together ever since.

Engaged on July 9th, seven months and five days after our first date, and married September 9th, two months after getting engaged.

Our story over the last three years has included one of the most stressful and scary asylum cases you can imagine, challenges with stress and anger management, money issues, trust, jealousy, you name it. But we've worked together, he is constantly striving to be the best version of himself, and overall he is an incredible husband and doggy daddy.

Our lives are just beginning now that his immigration case is wrapped up. We are eagerly looking forward to moving out of the Bay Area to start a company together. We're both still working our asses off in restaurants (different ones than where we started), and finding our places in the world together.

Being single taught me so much. About myself, about other people, and about the life that I wanted and who I wanted it with. At one point I wrote down everything that I wanted in my next partner, and then I forgot about the list. I rediscovered it months into dating Biceps, and he ticked all of the boxes. Never underestimate the power of writing down your hopes and dreams. I firmly believe that I manifested this man, and this life, through incredible hard work and discovery, constantly living my life to its fullest, and becoming the best version of myself that I can be.

This will be the final post of this site from me. If you are interested in taking it over, or purchasing it. Please reach out.