I need reassurance from you

I don't ask for much. I want you to hold me at night. Tell me that you love me before we fall asleep. Reassure me that I'm what you want, that we're what you want. I get scared and insecure because of what we've been through in such a short time. Falling madly in love, wanting to get married and have a future together, times filled with romantic gestures, then a heart wrecking month apart, then everything crumbling within our relationship, to hope and solidarity, and plans for the future, which now include a child. I need reassurance from you. That you're not going to hurt me again, that you're not going to hurt us again, or yourself. That you're still going to try everyday to honor me and our relationship.

It's irrational how much I love you, and in the last few days it's become painful. Like I could die without you. It's the middle of the night and I'm spiraling because the last thing that I said to you was that I loved you and you meant the world to me and I just needed to know that you feel the same. And you didn't say anything back and now my heart is breaking and I'm having a panic attack and trying not to.