The Goldilocks of Tinder

All’s not well on the home front. I’m in love with someone, only the third person that I’ve told that I loved in a relationship as an adult. After writing last night, I think reality set in. Especially when he came home early and surprised me, and I wasn’t super happy to see him (nor did he seem super happy to see me). Granted I was knee deep in studying, watching I am Cait, and looking forward to going out drinking with friends since he was planning on being out…"I am the person that sees red flags and keeps going” (literally just heard this quote on TV. I kept studying and he sat next to me watching a movie after getting high. We both took showers and went to bed and I was wide awake. We snuggled for a little bit, he was still in his boxers which normally drives me insane because I don’t want any boundaries between us, but I was like, fuck it. Yes he tells me he loves me, he makes me feel loved, but overall he doesn’t make me feel what I want to and need to feel. I want to feel beautiful and attractive and desired, and I don’t feel those things with him anymore. I feel like I’m providing him a comfortable bed to sleep in where he’s closer to work, and a place to smoke (my) weed.

This morning as I was getting ready and really in a funk I started thinking that I’m becoming the Tinder version of Goldilocks.

The Italian

This one is a great cook and sexy, but there’s no chemistry and he’s too rough in bed.

Buena Vista

This one is amazing in bed, is a great dad, sexy as hell, in the same industry, but “wasn’t ready for a relationship”.

The Hunter

This one is amazing to talk to, there is never a moment where we are not having an amazing time, we have similar interests and beliefs, he’s good with money and has a great paying job, but he’s an alcoholic that isn’t ready for a relationship.

Will Gardner

He’s funny, has the potential to be attractive if he gets in shape, is a good dad, has a good job that’s almost in my industry, but is terrible in bed and is pretty unhealthy.

Finance

This one is physically the perfect man, with great friends, is a good dad, but is a man child that is not honest, seemingly broken mentally, is a terrible cook but thinks he’s great, takes advantage of my generosity, his family is a mess and his mother is an angry black woman, he's incredibly unhealthy, runs instead of fights, and is broke as a joke.

Kryptonite

This one is gorgeous, has an incredible job financially and ethically, is a great dad, but ghosted me after we slept together and sends dick pics of his tiny penis.

Mr. Gris

He has a plane, he constantly thinks of me, but there's very little chemistry, and he's into swinging.

The Mexican (aka H)

This one is gorgeous (unless he’s been drinking), is incredible in bed, is romantic, is so loving, makes me laugh harder than I’ve ever laughed with someone, we love most of the same music, he doesn’t want kids, he’s intelligent, he is real, he has an incredible family, we love the Warriors, is a great cook, but he’s an alcoholic (recovering for the most part), is far too aggressive and possessive, borderline homophobic and racist, turns into a hurtful dishonest psycho when he’s drinking, has legal baggage, is filing for bankruptcy, drives a nearly broken down car that belongs to his dad, can’t easily come into my industry group, isn’t motivated in life, and is hard to communicate with.

#Tinder #TheMexican #singleinoakland