Meet My Kryptonite

So entirely sure I said that I was going to stay off of the apps, and I have, but somehow this one guy slips through. 37, RN, and looking for someone that is open to the possibility of a serious relationship. Of course I’m going to swipe right! He’s also got red hair, and he’s from the South, and he is divorced, and has a young daughter, and is into many of the same things as me. And he messages me. And I message back. And we have three hour long text sessions, and then driving home the other night, emboldened by several drinks, I call him. At this point the guy is near perfect. He talks about the girls that he’s dated more than I’m comfortable with, talks about his marriage more than I would assume someone would just getting to know someone, but he also does amazing things like sending me Sleep Well texts at night, and Good Morning texts in the morning. That shit slays me.

We agreed to meet last night after I was done with work. I was so exhausted and extremely over dressed (which I warned him about) and look like Cruella de Vil. I’ve got a massively oversized custom black jacket on, hair pulled back, dripping in pearls, black leggings, black heels, but tried to look put together and ready for a casual date. He opened every door for me. He walked side by side with me, his eyes...oh my god, his eyes. There were several times that we’d look at eachother as we were walking around looking for a place to eat that I could have fallen in love with the guy.

I did this visualization practice a couple of years ago, where you go to visit yourself in the future. You pay attention to where you live, what your surroundings look like, what you’re wearing, who’s with you, etc. At one point I remember seeing a man, tight trimmed beard and goatee, looked like a gentleman, attractive, and I remember his eyes. They were loving and intense. This guy has those eyes. For a moment I thought, this guy could be my future.

Redic right? I’m getting ready to sleep, eat, and drink my way through Italy for a month, and I meet this monster. We find a restaurant that’s open late and grab a table, he let’s me seat with my back to the wall, and I try my ass off to not watch the game, but I also need a distraction from him. I thought he was good looking in his pictures, but this dude is hot. And he’s really well put together. On the thin side for my taste, but his incredible hair, eyes, teeth, facial hair...his fucking southern accent for god’s sake! And, he’s a gentleman. And he’s got a great job, saving people. He’s done, and is capable of, manual labor. It’s a this moment that I realize he is my kryptonite. He’s got it all. He’s exactly who I didn’t need to meet right now.

We start heading back to the car, and I boldly ask if he wants to go have another drink. Without pausing he says yes. We walk side by side through the streets, talking and laughing, and end up at a pretty cool bar. He paid for dinner so I offer to buy the drinks. We sit in a dark corner and keep talking and he grabs and holds my hand. This is the sweetest gesture to me. I’m like, who the fuck is this guy? Holding my hand with his amazing surgeon hands. I’m losing it. This guy is so fucking hot, but he doesn’t seem to fully realize it. When we were getting to know each other through texts, he said I was beautiful. That alone stopped me in my tracks. I would have killed to have my husband tell me that. It was actually one of the biggest issues for me, he almost never said it. I think Finance said it a couple of times, Mr Gris certainly never says it, so for this guy to say it based on Tinder and IG photos, it kind of slayed me. At one point he leans in and kisses me. I’m not used to the facial hair, but I think I’ll get used to it (wink). We stay until they kick us out. I actually forgot my card there. We make out hard in the hallway on our way out. I think at this point I’m so exhausted and dazed and sprung, and turned on, that I kind of lose my mind.

He holds my hand all the way back to the parking garage...where our cars are locked up. I’m like, what did you do?! And in my mind, I’m like, if he said, let’s get a room, I totally would have. It takes forever, but we finally get back to our cars, pay a fortune to get them out, and instead of a quick but passionate kiss goodbye, we make out non stop for an hour against my car. I want to rip his fucking shirt off. He’s making me feel incredible. It took everything that I had to not bring him home with me. The roommate was even out for the night. I kept thinking, if he comes home with me, I won’t let him out of my bed for the next three days.

We both get home around three, and text each other good night, and I’m wondering if I made the right decision. I’ve become a FOMOsexual. Fear Of Missing Out on amazing sex. (Sidenote: Ha! I totally thought I made that up yesterday, and it’s already in the Urban Dictionary. And the website is taken.) Do I want to? Had we already gone too far? We’re both adults, why can’t we hook up and end up in a relationship? Was he just looking to hook up? Would I hear from him again?

But he texted me first thing this morning, and then...I discovered sexting. Insert wide eyed emoticon here. Could have been my first unsolicited dick pic too (not that I’ve ever solicited one before either), but for an hour, there was an intense, graphic, but not over the top, sexting session. Now we’re going to see each other on Saturday, and possibly do an overnight for his birthday on Wednesday. Again...What am I doing?

#single #singleinoakland #Kryptonite #fomosexual #sexting