Check for extremities! And how long are you supposed to wait for sex?

Brunch date at Hopscotch! The guy is young, attractive, bubbly to a fault, sweet, and at some point tells me that I’m not “standard”. He means it as a compliment, It makes me laugh. He's new to California and I offer to show him around a bit after we split the bill I bring him to my favorite spot in Oakland, actually one of my favorite spots in the Bay Area. It’s beautiful, but I bring him there more as a Oakland ambassador than because I have any interest in spending more time with him. He asks me if he can kiss me, I let him. He’s got great lips, but this isn’t going anywhere. I miss Buena Vista, and I’m really hoping that him and I have a chance. It's not until we almost get to where I'm dropping him off, that I notice...he doesn't have a second hand. Like he was born without one. He did an excellent job at hiding it. I pretend I don't see, but now in addition to worrying about crossed eyes from guys wearing sunglasses in all of their profile photos, I'm going to wonder if they have all of their extremities. I'm really not a shallow asshole, but I'm sure I sound like one.

My massage therapist is also recently a Tinderer, but he’s met a wonderful woman that he’s expecting to have move in with him. He mentions that he thinks sex should wait three weeks or three dates. Otherwise if it starts fast it’s going to end just as fast. That’s hard for me. It makes me sad. It’s my biggest fear at the moment. I spent a few years not getting physical or emotional attention from my spouse. It’s hard, nay impossible, to hold back. Will the guy understand if I explain this to him? Is it too late? Will I be able to change this for myself to get into the right relationship? If someone doesn’t want to have sex with me for the same reason, will I take it as complete rejection or will I be able to keep things in perspective? What am I supposed to do in the mean time? Good Vibes or sleep with someone I don't care about?

Would love more guy's perspectives on this...

#Hopscotch #single #singleinoakland #Tinder #sex